Wherein C.F.Barrón does his thing...

If you write every day...

You get better at writing every day.

You also wind up smacking yourself in search of something to write about. This is almost certainly why I've never been able to successfully keep a journal. I know my own thoughts, they're consistent, why bother writing them down when I can just summon them within my inner monologue? Seriously, I once wrote an entire post and went to reference a draft of a separate post altogether and found the two to be almost identical. I had covered the topic before but never “published” it, and how I felt about the matter was the same almost six months later.

Ultimately, I have found that my audience doesn't necessarily care about what I think/feel, so much as they just care about me. (Thank you Twilight Zone) so perhaps I shouldn't be too picky about what I write and share on here.

So let me just talk about a couple of irons I have in the fire. I've got stories I want to finish, I'm low key working on bringing DnD to my work environment, a co worker challenged me to make a ceramic pipe, and I have a small mountain of things to paint. I've also managed to crack a silver filling so I need some dental work, and there's a bit of unrest within my immediate family on account of my mom's upcoming surgery. Many of the people I know are so overworked and stressed out, I often feel powerless to help them, and I'm just trying to juggle all that with the politics of my various social groups and the fact that despite my best efforts I have yet to break into the center of any of the packs I run with.

I’ve found that I spend entirely too much time on my phone, typically scrolling through social media waiting for someone or something to reach out to me because after years of always being the first to initiate conversation I got tired and wanted to see if someone would do the same for me. I usually wind up being the one to initiate anyway because I somehow always seem to have the energy to engage with people, even when I don’t actually have said energy. I tend to run myself ragged doing things for the people I care about, and I don’t complain about it because I like being there for folks.

All of that to say, I’m pretty selfless with my time, and I sometimes worry that might have to change if I’m going to be a successful writer of any sort. I also worry I’ll have to sacrifice my other hobbies and harden my heart a bit to the people who around me, but I’m pretty sure those are unfounded concerns.


Carlos Barron